There is a lot of confusion on the internet regarding the “No Contact Rule” and what it entails. How does the no contact rule work? Read on to find out!
What is the No Contact Rule?
The No Contact Rule means you stop talking to your ex completely for a period of time in the immediate aftermath of a breakup.
Going no contact means completely cutting off contact with your ex cold turkey. This means no texts, no calls, no liking their photos online.
Understanding the Power of Space After a Breakup
When you’re around the person you’ve just broken up with, it’s confusing and makes it harder to move on. Cutting off contact can help you untangle your feelings without someone else pulling on the strings.
Focus on Yourself
It’s not easy to sever all communication with someone you care about, but it’s a step towards healing and moving on. When you’re not seeing their updates online or hearing their voice, you start to focus on yourself.
You begin to remember what makes you happy, what your goals are, and what you need in life to feel fulfilled. The no contact rule allows for self-reflection and to understand what went wrong in the relationship.
An outcome of this is that you realize your shortcomings. You can devise a strategy of effective ways for self-improvement.
Building Resilience
During this time of no contact, you might feel lonely or tempted to reach out. You may even want to get back together.
However, this period is for your personal growth. It’s a time to rediscover your strengths and to build up your confidence. By staying strong you’re becoming a more resilient person, as well as getting over the breakup.
Growth
Think about the future. One day, you might cross paths with your ex again. If you’ve taken this time for yourself, you’ll meet them with a clear head and a strong heart. You’ll be able to show them that you’ve grown up and changed.
How to Actually Do the No-Contact Rule
Adhering to the No Contact Rule is a challenge, but it’s possible. Here’s your step-by-step guide:
Decide the No-Contact Time Period
First things first, decide how long you’re going to maintain the no contact period. With the No Contact Rule, some people choose a month, while others might need more time. If your relationship was toxic, indefinite no contact is the way to go. Think about what feels right for you.
Abide by the Rules
Once you’ve started the no-contact period, it’s time to play by the rules. This means you can’t talk to your ex-partner, not even a little. No texting, no phone calls, and definitely no “accidentally” bumping into them. Don’t ask people about them.
Don’t Check their Social Media
Checking your ex’s social media profiles? That’s a no-go. If you don’t see it, you won’t be tempted. So, don’t let curiosity win. Stay strong and keep your eyes on your own life. If possible, try to mute or block them so their posts don’t appear on your timeline.
Friends Are Off Limits
Asking mutual friends about your ex can undo your hard work. Ask them to avoid mentioning your ex in any context. Instead, spend time talking about other fun stuff, like movies or sports. This will help take your mind off the heartbreak.
It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It To Get Over Your Ex
Neediness and desperation are powerful things. They can tempt you to contact your ex. The No-Contact Rule is useful in stopping you from obsessing over the breakup.
Resisting The Pull
We all know how tough it can be to avoid reaching out to someone who used to be a big part of our lives. When you’re following the No Contact Rule post-breakup, you might feel a strong pull to send them a message or to check their social media.
It’s totally normal to find this challenging. If you give in to the urge, don’t be too hard on yourself. You can restart the No Contact Rule. It’s about progress, not perfection.
A Little Bit Of Humor
Some people find it helpful to rename their ex’s contact in their phone with a humorous tag like “Nope!” This little reminder can stop you in your tracks and help you remember why you started the no-contact period in the first place.
It’s a way to inject some light-heartedness into a tough situation and keep your focus on moving forward. It can help you heal and grow.
Clearing Confusions
Your ex might try to initiate a conversation with you, or they may try to rekindle the relationship. At that moment, you must remember why you broke up in the first place.
Your ex might be confused as to why you’ve cut them off completely. End the conversation by letting them know you’ve decided to take some time and space for yourself.
Final Thoughts: Making It Work
Spending time away from your ex can help make you feel better and improve your emotional state. By the time the no-contact period ends, you’re ready to move on and become amicable with your ex.