It can be quite confusing when we see someone who is always nice and kind get treated poorly. Have you ever wondered ‘Why are people mean to nice people?’
Read on to understand the reasons behind this, how it affects relationships, and ways to handle such situations.
Understanding Complex Behavior and Its Effects On Relationships
You may have seen or experienced people being unnecessarily rude to people around them, who are being nothing but nice.
When someone is mean to a person who is just trying to be nice, it can make things really awkward. The nice person might feel hurt, confused, and may even start to think they did something wrong. This can lead to less trust and weaker friendships. In some cases, they may develop anxiety.
On the flip side, the person being mean may find that others start to keep their distance. No one likes to be around negativity for too long.
Common Reasons Why Some People Treat Others Rudely
Have you ever been super nice to someone, and they just didn’t return the favor? Well, let’s dive into the psychology behind this phenomenon.
Kindness Can Feel Strange to Some
Believe it or not, for some people, kindness can feel weird. If they’re not used to friendly gestures, they might not know how to respond. They might even think there’s a catch.
So, when you show someone kindness, they might be surprised and unsure how to react to your niceness.
Protecting Themselves with a Tough Exterior
Some people build a tough exterior to protect themselves. If someone has been hurt before, they might push away kindness to avoid getting hurt again. It is a coping mechanism to avoid feeling vulnerable.
Jealousy Can Turn Sweet to Sour
When you’re kind and happy, and someone else isn’t feeling that way, they might act mean because they wish they were in your shoes. They may see your goodness and how other people perceive it, and they want it for themselves.
Low Self-Esteem
Sometimes, when a person has low self-esteem, they might act out by being unkind to others. They cannot see the good in themselves, so they refuse to see the good in others.
When we aren’t confident or happy with ourselves, it can be tough to see others who are full of joy and positivity. So, some people respond by trying to bring others down to their level. It’s not the kindest way to deal with emotions, but it happens.
Narcissism
Narcissism means that some folks love themselves so much that they want everyone else to think the same. When they see someone getting attention for being nice, it might cause conflict, because they want all eyes on them.
People with narcissistic tendencies may feel they need to be the most important person in the room, and they can get upset if someone else is in the spotlight. It’s not fun if the same person is always the center of attention.
Being Too Likeable Can Be Annoying
People pleasers can be annoying. Even when they are being kind and considerate, their eagerness and need to please can cause others to react with rudeness.
When they encounter someone who is persistently positive, they can feel exposed and vulnerable. Instead of being inspired, they might lash out to protect themselves from these uncomfortable feelings.
What to Do When Faced With Unkindness
Encountering someone cruel and harsh can be disheartening. Here’s how to deal with meanness:
Stay Kind
Encountering someone grumpy can be tough, but don’t let it dampen your spirit. Staying kind and pleasant can sometimes catch a grouch off guard and possibly make them reconsider their sour mood.
Don’t Take It Personally
Remember, when someone is consistently unpleasant, it usually has more to do with their own issues than anything about you. So, try not to take it personally. Your self-worth isn’t tied to someone else’s bad mood.
Set Boundaries
However, if the person is being really mean, it’s important to set boundaries. You don’t have to stick around and take it. If you can, remove yourself from the situation.
If it’s not possible to leave, try changing the subject to something more positive or even use a bit of humor to lighten the mood. Sometimes, distracting a grumpy person can break the cycle of negativity.
Show Empathy
Another helpful tip is to show empathy. You might say something like, “It seems like you’re having a tough day.” This can help the person feel understood and less alone in their struggle.
Share Your Feelings
If the negative attitude continues, and it’s someone you have to interact with regularly, like a classmate or coworker, it might be worth having a calm conversation about it.
Choose a good time, and explain how their attitude affects you using “I” statements, like, “I feel upset when…” This way, you’re not accusing them, but sharing your thoughts and opinions.
Look After Yourself
After dealing with a harsh person, take a moment for yourself. Do something that makes you happy, or talk to someone about what happened.
Letting out your feelings is a healthy way to move on from the incident and look after your well-being.
In Summation: Why People Are Mean To Nice People
Just because some people can be mean doesn’t mean you should stop being nice. It is important to be genuine and make people feel better with your compassionate attitude.